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2019 Award Winners
It's that time of year again folks. 2019 was a solid movie year that had a lot of very good movies, not so many great, and the ones that were are incredible. Some SPOILERS are included in my awards descriptions. The John Wick Award Other nominees: Brian Banks, X-Men: Dark Phoenix, Last Christmas, Long Shot Runner-Up: Doctor Sleep For some reason I have developed a sense for getting hyped for horror movies despite the fact that I actually enjoy very few of them. I watched The Shining a few days before this came out and I thought it was fine. It was late and I had a lot of trouble staying awake. My actual hype for this movie wasn’t that high. I figured this would be a well-regarded movie that I view as a low to mid six. I was wrong. I’m not sure I’d call it a true horror movie but Doctor Sleep was excellent at whatever it was. To me, it played out like a dark action movie with horror and thriller elements thrown in. It’s a beautifully directed film with a great story that comes full circle from the original and features fantastic characters. Danny and Abra were among some candidates who just missed my character of the year lists and Rose the Hat qualified for the Hit-Girl Award. The setup to the ending was one of the absolute best of the year. It could’ve stuck the landing a bit better but other than that I don’t have any major complaints. Winner: Rambo: Last Blood Much like Doctor Sleep I went out of my way to watch the first two Rambo movies before the release of Rambo: Last Blood. To say I was underwhelmed would be an understatement. The original Rambo has to be one of the most overrated ‘classics’ I’ve ever seen. The whole confrontation is ridiculous. Still Sly has been on a role lately and I wanted to give this one a shot. I’m awfully glad I did. Last Blood is an amazing ride. It’s similar to the original John Wick. It has some emotional beats, a shock moment and then a crazy amount of violence in retaliation. Last Blood is even more brutal in its devastation. I have to say everything this film did worked for me in some way or another. I didn’t like the daughter’s story but I understood how and why she would act that way. The antagonists were completely irredeemable. The absolutely brutal deaths were shocking, hard to watch and yet completely warranted. Then it ended on a cool emotional but firm note. It was a fitting end to Rambo’s story despite the nonsense the media might say about it. The Age of Ultron Award Other nominees: Black Christmas, Cold Pursuit, It: Chapter 2, Us Runner-Up: The Lion King The Beauty and the Beas''t remake is one of my favorite movies of the decade. ''The Jungle Book remake was an improvement on the original and highly regarded by many. Outside of the big franchises like Marvel and Star Wars, The Lion King is Disney’s biggest property. There is no way they could screw it up, right? Wrong. Despite the greatest CGI in cinema history to date this remake was as mediocre as mediocre could be. Why? I have to assume it was laziness. Much like Star Wars, Disney went all out on making something look great instead of doing their best to make the movie great. The majority of the voice actors gave LOL worthy performances (looking at you Beyonce & Donald Glover) and seemingly every subtle detail of the original was replaced or ditched in this movie. ‘Can you feel the love tonight’ takes place under a bright sun with no sign of night coming. Were you looking forward to Rafiki giving his speech to Simba about the past and moving on? Did you want to see him hit Simba on the head and say: ‘It doesn’t matter, it’s in the past’? I know I did. Instead, that scene was completely removed from the film and Rafiki was turned from an eccentric but wise fellow into a bumbling psycho. I don’t know how you can take an iconic story, bring in so much talent and then give us this nonsense. They won’t but perhaps Disney needs to stay away from nostalgia for a while. Winner: Godzilla: King of the Monsters You want to know what’s even more disappointing than a lazy remake of a classic from your childhood? Completely botching a monster movie by making it boring as hell. How is that even possible? You have Godzilla facing off against his most famous foe and a large group of super talented actors. Yet the end result was a movie I couldn’t wait to get out of. The plot could not have been any dumber. Trying to release monsters to cleanse Earth and then immediately regretting it is about as dumb a main story as you could come up with. What did you think was going to happen? Then, in a movie about monsters destroying the planet, we are force fed the worst main group of characters 2019 had to offer. Unlikable, boring, and one dimensional accurately describes every shitty character in this film. Then when it feels like it we cut to some cool monster action for a bit before coming back to the stuff everyone rightfully hated. The mom character, whose name I have forgotten and refuse to look up, is the worst written character of the year. She deserves no redemption for her terrible actions, she deserves a long, painful death. The route the director went with was redemption anyway. I can’t tell you how disappointing this film was. It single-handedly knocked down my interest for next year’s Godzilla vs Kong by about two full points out of ten and has destroyed my faith in everyone involved with these projects. My last hope is riding on the guy who butchered the live action adaptation of Death Note. Somehow in 2019 we are still waiting for a legitimately great American Godzilla movie. It shouldn’t be this hard guys and gals. The WTF Did I Just Watch Award Other nominees: Polar, Velvet Buzzsaw Runner-Up: Cold Pursuit What the fuck was this movie? It’s labeled a dark comedy with good reviews despite that fact that it was 1) Marketed as the next Liam Neeson revenge movie and 2) It’s long, boring and criminally unfunny. I don’t understand this at all. Some actors definitely hammed it up but not in a funny or entertaining way. They were just cringe worthy. There are some truly bizarre scenes I imagine in hindsight were meant to be funny but I couldn’t imagine anyone actually laughing out of enjoyment. A twenty second scene zoomed in on a dog taking a shit, another twenty second scene focused on a guy slowly being elevated off the floor, a guy drifting in the air for AT LEAST TWELVE HOURS before crashing into metal claws of death for one of the most bizarre endings I have ever seen. I don’t understand how a movie that felt so long and so boring could possibly be considered a comedy. Maybe I just don’t get the joke. Winner: Black Christmas Black Christmas. Wow, where to start. I created this Award simply to shit on this movie. I have never in my life seen such a misandrist message in a film. Not only is it present but it’s blatant as hell. This isn’t a movie, it’s political propaganda. In hindsight I wish I had done my research. Sophia Takal doesn’t deserve any of my money. If I had seen that she took inspiration from the Brett Kavanaugh story for this movie I never would’ve seen it. Thankfully, this disaster has bombed in every way imaginable. Unthinkably bad user reviews, terrible critic reviews, it made no money and the backlash has forced Takal to make her social media accounts private. This movie starts off with a girl given a sex toy for Christmas so ‘she’ll never need a man again’. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. Then we immediately jump to a girl who has gone through sexual assault. Tragic, you feel for her. Then we go to class where your classic student activist claims classic novels are racist because ‘they aren’t her classics’. Okay, whatever, it’s one character. Then the main character stops her friend from being sexual assaulted later that night. Then her and her other friends go and perform a sexual assault dance number for the fraternity they are partying at before bailing and leaving these cartoon character men fuming. Disappearances start occurring and the main character goes to security. The security guard brushes off her concerns and doesn’t take her seriously. I assume this was because he was a white man. It never ends. The white, male hate keeps snowballing until the penultimate scene where we find out our villains are killing women who aren’t obedient because they view them as lesser. The leader says the founder knew two hundred years ago how much of a problem women would become for men. Then a girl betrays her friends by saying just because we stand behind them doesn’t mean we aren’t important. She’s killed by the men anyway and then a hilarious final fight ensues and every white man in the film ends up dead. The five people in the theater, myself included, couldn’t hold back our laughter for the entirety of the third act. It’s the most misguided, cartoony depiction of characters I have ever seen. Sophia Takal is either a huge misandrist, or a terrible director who struggles to get across any sort of message without pounding you over the head with it. My guess is both. However, as a consolation prize she does win the first ever WTF Award. The I Feel Like I'm Taking Crazy Pills Award Other nominees: A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, Dark Phoenix, Rocketman Runner-Up: Cold Pursuit Remember that supposed dark comedy movie I talked about that was long, boring and yet still somehow completely ridiculous? That movie has a certified fresh rating and generally good reviews from critics. The audience numbers have taken a nosedive since the initial inclusion of the nomination which makes me feel a little better. However, the fact that it wasn’t completely panned by everyone upon release is baffling to me. There is no need to elaborate further on this movie. Winner: Glass I honestly do feel like I’m taking crazy pills here. Critics hated this movie. Audiences didn't like it. I can think of no reason why this movie shouldn’t be universally regarded as average at worst. It concludes a highly regarded trilogy with a satisfying twist ending. The movie keeps you guessing throughout and you can never quite see what's coming next. The acting is excellent. It’s a well-made and directed movie. I can understand not loving the movie or being turned off by some of the directions we were taken. One character doesn’t go down in the best way. They hype up a huge spectacle finale only to snatch it away right from under you. If you came in expecting an Avengers type movie I can see you being disappointed with that. There is no way anyone can tell me this wasn’t a well-made film though. Personally, I loved the twists and turns. This was never a saga about spectacle and it ending in one would’ve been against everything the movie is. Throwing that out the window worked perfectly. Mr. Glass manipulating everything from behind the scenes to give us the ending we received made a lot of sense and was expertly handled. I don’t understand how anyone could walk away from it and say “that movie sucked” but apparently that’s what happened. The Heath Ledger Joker Award Other nominees: Brian Banks (Brian Banks), Captain America (Avengers: Endgame), Cliff Booth (Once Upon a Time in Hollywood), Elton John (Rocketman), John Rambo (Rambo: Last Blood), John Wick (John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum), Joker (Joker), Mr. Glass (Glass), Mysterio (Spider-Man: Far From Home), Shazam (Shazam!) Runner-Up: ''Captain America'' (Avengers: Endgame) What did you expect? You had two previous winners returning in fantastic movies competing with each other. How could they not be the final two? Cap might not have won but he had to share the spotlight this year and John Wick for the most part didn't. Though he finished second let's not take anything away from arguably the greatest live action comic back character out there. Chris Evans, Captain America and the Russo's were destined for each other. Evans is masterful at the role, and the Russo's are even better at highlighting it. The emotional scenes are always home runs. From sitting in the class with other depressed survivors of the snap, to his interactions with Tony, to his final dance with Peggy. All of it is just so good. Then you can have the amazing action scenes as well such as him picking up the hammer and going to war with Thanos or the scene where he stands alone and looks ahead towards Thanos and his massive army. The latter of which is likely my favorite visual in movie history. At the end of the day though, he may have had his dance but he cannot take the title from the legend that is... Winner: ''John Wick'' (John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum) The odds on favorite to win the award every single year he has a movie come out, John Wick did not disappoint in Chapter 3. I don't know if I can even give a lengthy description for this. No character consistently demands my attention on screen more than John Wick. In my mind, he's already the greatest action hero of all time. I've said it before and I imagine after Chapter 4 I will say it again...I could watch John Wick dismantle people forever and never get bored. He's too good, too entertaining and too badass. Nothing more needs to be said. The Chloë Grace Moretz Hit-Girl Award Other nominees: Ellie Appleton (Yeserday), Grace Le Domas (Ready or Not), Haley Keller (Crawl), Jean Grey (X-Men: Dark Phoenix), Michelle Jones (Spider-Man: Far From Home), Princess Anna (Frozen II), Rose the Hat (Doctor Sleep), Queen Elsa (Frozen II) Runner-Up: ''Princess Jasmine'' (Aladdin) This is what I wrote for this award last year. "Last year was absolutely loaded for females characters I couldn't get enough of...this year not so much. Oh well, every award has a down year." Clearly one of the five people who reads these awards every year is a Hollywood exec because 2019 retaliated in a big way. It's not quite as strong at the top at 2017 but overall this is easily the deepest class of incredible female characters I have seen since I started handing out this award. Ellie Appleton, Grace Le Domas, Haley Keller and both of the Frozen II girls would be winners or runner-ups 95% of the time. Just not in 2019. So you should feel honored Naomi Scott, for finishing second in this historic year is an impressive feat. Aladdin had its issues *cough Jafar cough* but overall it was a decent film. In my opinion that was largely because Naomi Scott was amazing. This was as close to a real life Jasmine as we are allowed to get in 2019. She was convincing in the character and in her arc, she looked the part and as expected she knocked every song she sang out of the park. Here's to hoping we can see more of her in this role and in general. Winner: ''Tree Gelbman'' (Happy Death Day 2U) My 2017 runner up has faced unbelievably stiff competition each year she's had a movie. In 2017 she only lost to my two highest rated candidates ever (Spoiler: 2020 will likely see a change in this awards name to one of them) and this year she edged out numerous other fantastic candidates to get a well-deserved win. It's a shame that Happy Death Day 3 doesn't appear to be happening because Jessica Rothe was born to play Tree Gelbman. It's hard to describe her in this role. Mesmerizing? I don't know. She has every part of the character down perfectly. You'd think she's played this character for a decade. She played the bitch so well in part one, she turned that on its head and become a genuine charmer, she's unbelievably entertaining in her montage sequences, and when she has to she can bring the feels like when she reunites with her father in HDD or numerous moments with her mom in HDD2. There is a reason this was one of the few movies I watched three times this year and the original is one of the most re-watchable movies out there for me. It never gets old watching Jessica Rothe's charisma and charm over and over again. Here's to hoping her and Christopher Landon can figure out a way to finish the planned trilogy and bring her wonderful character back on screen one last time. The Sammers Random Character Who Needs a Spinoff Award Other nominees: Daniel Le Domas (Ready or Not), Duke Kaboom (Toy Story 4), Flagstaff (Zombieland 2: Double Tap), Mewtwo (Detective Pikachu) Runner-Up: Brody (Jexi'')'' Jexi was a decent comedy that flew a bit under the radar. One of the best gags in the film was the recurring character Brody. The main character Phil is trying to win over Cate and Brody is her over the top perfect ex-boyfriend. He steals every scene he's in. Do I want to see more of the guy who once proclaimed 'There is nothing better than jumping out of an aircraft with nothing but a shovel putting out wildfires to make this world a better place'? Abso-fucking-lutely. Let Brody be the superhero he was meant to be and give this man a spin-off. It'd be comedy gold. Winner: Sofia (John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum) As psyched as I am to see the John Wick franchise getting spin-offs like The Continental and Ballerina, I can't help but wonder why we aren't getting a spin-off for Sofia (played by Halle Berry), who was incredible in John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum. The John Wick series has gone out of their way to find unique situations to put their titular character in and fight out off. How fun would it be to see Sofia using her dogs to get out of different situations? Unless Halle Berry is not interested, you could easily get an entire trilogy about that and make it work. It wouldn't have to just be action either. We are given depth with her in Parabellum. The story of being separated from her daughter tells itself. You could also delve deeper into how she owes John in the first place. She was such a standout despite a minor role that it wold be a shame not to see more of her. The dog fight scene is one of the coolest action sequences of the year.. The Right in the Feels Emotional Moment Award Other nominees: Billy goes after his mom (Shazam), Clay Banning saves Mike's family (Angel Has Fallen), Gabby Gabby finds a friend (Toy Story 4), Genie is set free (Aladdin), Help set me free (Brian Banks), Peter follows in Tony's footsteps (Spider-Man: Far From Home), Tree says goodbye to her mom (Happy Death Day 2U), Woody leaves (Toy Story 4) Runner-Up: Hiccup reunites with Toothless (How To Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World) I don't want this to be ignored, Hiccup reuniting with Toothless wins this award most years. This scene and the ending to How To Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World in general are among the best, and most satisfying I have ever seen. You couldn't write a better end to a trilogy. The way their friendship is built up over three movies is handled so well. It's relatable, it's like the love you share with a Pet, only this one is smarter. That's why it stings so much to see Hiccup let Toothless go even though it's the right thing to do. Hiccup realizes his friendship doesn't take precedent over an entire species survival. They say goodbye and it's heart-wrenching. Then time passes by and Hiccup has grown older with Astrid. They have kids now. Dragons are a thing of the past, a legend, a myth. Hiccup and his family are sailing across the ocean and come upon some fog. It clears and there's two dragons sitting on a rock, the entrance to the dragon's home. The guardian looks up and springs into action. It engages with the travelers. It takes a moment but Toothless remembers his old friend. They share a moment and then the whole family starts riding the dragons to end the series. It's perfect. Winner: Avengers Assemble (Avengers: Endgame) The return of the Avengers leading to Captain America dropping the Avengers Assemble line is the greatest scene in cinematic history. I will hear no arguments otherwise. I've only seen Avengers: Endgame twice, however, I've re-watched that scene a couple dozen times and never made it through without tearing up. I can't even listen to the song Portals without doing so. That's what you get when you successfully complete a twenty movie arc in the most satisfying way possible. It's hard to even describe how I felt the first time I saw it. Sam radioing Cap, flying through the first portal with the on your left callback, Black Panther walking through, then one by one the rest of the heroes coming back with Cap, Tony and Thor reacting to it all. It's a once in a lifetime type of emotional investment in a film and its characters. I can confidently say there is nothing in my lifetime that will top it. Side note: Seeing it twice in theaters made me appreciate it in two different contexts. Opening night was comparable to a Wrestlemania crowd that went absolutely bananas for everything. You couldn't help but get hyped. Seeing it later that weekend with a more casual crowd made me appreciate the sentimental and emotional aspect of it more. The Sammers Best Scene of the Year Award Other nominees: Hiccup reunites with Toothless (How To Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World), John Wick knife fight (John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum), Joker incites a riot (Joker), Magneto destroys the train (X-Men: Dark Phoenix), Mewtwo escapes (Detective Pikachu), Oh Boy! (Long Shot), Tree dies montage (Happy Death Day 2U) Runner-Up: Mysterio Illusion Scene (Spider-Man: Far From Home) Spider-Man: Far From Home gave us the cinematic version of the Scarecrow fear toxin scenes from the Arkham series and I'm here for it. In terms of visuals and standing out, it's probably a top 5 scene in the MCU. Mysterio's commentary in the background with these insane illusions calling back to important Spider-Man moments was something to behold. Oh, and the end result is Spider-Man gets hit by a train and being left for dead. This scene alone differentiated Mysterio from many other MCU villains. I sure hope we get to see more going forward. Winner: Avengers Assemble (Avengers: Endgame) This was clearly foreshadowed by the last award right? I know, I know. Back to back years the ending of the Avenger movie has taken both scene awards. I don't foresee that happening again anytime soon. In the meantime, let's give more credit to this amazing scene. When I saw it in theaters the first time, the ovations were massive for all the individual stars. I think Spider-Man had the loudest and after that was either Black Panther, Doctor Strange, or Star Lord. I casually listen to "Endgame portals scene reactions" on YouTube to here people go nuts at this. It's just so cool. The Sammers Best Movie of the Year Award Other nominees: Avengers: Endgame, Frozen II, John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum, Rambo: Last Blood, Spider-Man: Far From Home Runner-Up: John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum After the cliffhanger from Chapter 2 I couldn't have been more excited to see John on the run. Right away we see him fucking destroy Boban Marjanovic with a book, and numerous assassins with knives in gruesome fashion. At that point you know this movie is going to be a ride. The movie does slow down a little in the middle but there are so many other awesome action sequences throughout that it almost had to. The dog scene fight, the fielty raids by the High Table, the Contentinal shootout, sword fights with the main assassins, it just goes on and on. Then finally when you think it's settled that bastard Winston turns on John and shoots him off a fucking building. Of course the movie then ends with the shocking return of the Bowery King, he and Wick both telling us they are pissed off. I cannot imagine the carnage we are going to get Chapter 4 but I imagine it's going to land right around here in the awards section again. The John Wick series in general has been the most consistently amazing series I've witnessed. I can't think of another trilogy that has three ~9/10 movies and each time you only want to see more. I'm guessing that's why the box office of his film has essentially doubled. However, unlike it's predecessor it still wasn't enough to take home the title of movie of the year. Winner: Spider-Man: Far From Home If I told you an MCU movie was going to be my movie of the year, you and I both would've bet the house on it being Avengers: Endgame. While Endgame was great, in contention and did win a few awards here, the movie as a whole has some issues that kept it from winning this one. Spider-Man: Far From Home was tasked with the remarkably difficult task of getting people to give a shit after Endgame. Not only did it succeed, it made it seem like the MCU hasn't and won't miss a beat. In my opinion, it's the greatest Spider-Man movie made to date and there is a lot of stiff competition. Mysterio was a fantastic villain that tied together multiple films, the marketing fooled us into thinking we were getting one thing and we ended up with another. We had the incredible illusion scene referenced earlier and then the best cliffhanger ending of the year. If I was going to make a list based on best endings to movies this year based on how satisfying they were it'd go: 1. Endgame 2. How To Train Your Dragon 3. Frozen But if I ranked it on endings that made me most hyped to see more? That list goes: 1. Far From Home 2. Parabellum 3. Jumanji 3 That's arguably more important. Hype for the future is a big part of my ratings with movies. The most shocked I was in a cinema all year was the three minute span where J.K. Simmons returned as J. Jonah Jameson, they played footage of Mysterio pretending Spider-Man was about to murder him, revealing Peter's identity to the world, and that the Skrulls have starting swapping bodies with people on Earth. That's four 10/10 twists in less time than it takes to shit, and sets up two gigantic storylines for the future. It was almost too much to take in, my mind was blown. The movie itself was great but the insane ending certainly helped it become my 2019 Sammers Movie of the Year. Past Winners 2018 Award Winners 2017 Winners 2016 Winners 2019 Movie of the Month Winners January Dragon Ball Super: Broly February How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World March Shazam! April Avengers: Endgame May John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum June Toy Story 4 July Spider-Man: Far From Home August Brian Banks September Rambo: Last Blood October Zombieland 2: Double Tap November Frozen II December Jumanji: The Next Level